The Crazy Man in the Pew

I’m sure I cannot be the only one. But maybe I am. You know, the one guy (or gal) standing in the pew—or row nowadays—singing at the top of his lungs, but doesn’t really emote much of a sound? Yep, that’s me. My “top of his lungs” is really a faint whisper. You should be thankful, really. If you are standing in the row directly in front of me during worship, you might hear me. I’m sure it’s not a joyful noise. It’s not a gift that I have and I’m very aware of my talents, or lack of talents. I have other gifts and I am blessed in many areas. Singing, not one of them.

To compound the oddity, I change the lyrics of many songs, and I’m not shy about it. Now, imagine you are singing in front of me, barely hearing a weird out-of-tune vocal, and the dang on words aren’t even right. Yep, that’s me. I cannot help it. My wife is most likely the receiver of this great tragedy. Sorry, my love.

When we are in church, praising the Lord, I want it to be intimate. In most moments, it’s not about “we” but about “me.” It is me that is pouring out my heart. It is me that is worshipping, thanking, and praising. Yes, I recognize I’m doing it within the body of the church and I love my church family. But in these moments, this is personal and I’m having a one-one-one conversation with my creator.

Take, for example, the song This We Know by Vertical Worship. We occasionally sing it at our church. In the song, there’s this great section:

This we know
We will see the enemy run
This we know
We will see the victory come
We hold on to every promise You ever made
Jesus, You are unfailing

We trust You, we trust you
Your ways are higher than our own
We trust You, we trust you
Your ways are higher than our own
We trust You, we trust You
Your ways are higher than our own
We trust You
In all things we trust You
Your ways are mightier than our own

Man, I get fired up. I take full lyrical license and change it to “I” and “my” all throughout the song. That has to be a joyful noise, right? I guess unless you are sitting around me. My apologies to you guys, but I don’t foresee ever changing. Maybe, just maybe, you guys will join me… though it might freak out the worship team. Sorry team.

This I know
I will see the enemy run
This I know
I will see the victory come
I hold on to every promise You ever made
Jesus, You are unfailing

I trust You, I trust you
Your ways are higher than my own
I trust You, I trust you
Your ways are higher than my own
I trust You, I trust You
Your ways are higher than my own
I trust You
In all things I trust You
Your ways are mightier than my own

Maybe you don’t change the words and never will. I at least hope worship and church are a personal experience, one that moves you closer to knowing our creator.